


You

by Pomelofangirl



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, aromantic Rin Matsuoka
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 22:59:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3186461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomelofangirl/pseuds/Pomelofangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or rather, Rin Matsuoka didn't like kissing.</p><p>Anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You

**Author's Note:**

> This is an attempt at a fic that features aromantic Rin, and how he tries to work this out.
> 
> I realize that it is probably not accurate and it needs to be worked on/improved and that is in no way an accurate representation of aromantic people.
> 
> I'm sorry for that in advance.
> 
> This is not betad either.

They were kissing in the rain. 

It was in some back alley, it was cold and uncomfortable.

Kissing in the rain was romantic, or so Rin had thought. Kissing itself should be romantic, you should have these butterfiles in your stomach and your chest should blossom with affection and you should feel warmth.

There was nothing like that.

It was wet. And cold.

Even if he was kissing Haru, the love of his life, the one and only shining.

It was disgusting.

Or maybe the reality of it finally struck him.

Kissing was disgusting.

Or rather, Rin Matsuoka didn't like kissing.

Anyone.

He tried it with Sosuske when they were little. It wasn't even a kiss, they just showed their tonuges to each other and, very lightly for a second, tried to touch each other's tongues.

It was very unpleasant back then, and it is even more now.

However, Haru probably enjoyed it.

Rin didn't.

…  
The worst thing is that he wouldn't even blame him.

It was Rin's idea after all, because they all did it in the movies. Couples kissing in the rain, or even underwater.

It was romantic.

And Rin wanted to do all the romantic things couples do.

Especially since he finally was dating Haru.

The love of his life.

But was he really?

Rin couldn't help but smile like a stupid dork in love whenever he saw Haru. Haru's mere prescence made him happy.  
Or even the idea that he will be meeting Haru probably, made his mind race, 100 miles per hour imagining things.

Most of them didn't come true for a long time. But now, they finally resolved their feelings, proved that they are important, even vital to each other.

Haru admitted that he loved him.

And Rin answered with the same.

He'd be stupid not to. He did actually love Haru, in his own way.

In a way that denied every romance novel Rin ever read. And he lost count of how many he'd read.

The first kiss should feel like magic, the unbelieveable „I am here with this person and we love each other”.

Rin initiated it after all.

His reaction was not what one would expect when you finally dare to kiss your boyfriend.

He was disgusted.

In fact he wanted to get away from Haru, and puke and get rid of this feeling.

Unpleasant was a weak word to describe it.

He didn't like kissing.

But as everyone says „dont give up the first time, try again” Rin tried again.

Eventually he swallowed his disgust and lived with it.

He didn't initiate kisses though, besides the romantic ones.

In romantic places like the beach at night, In the rain. During the thunderstorm, for comfort.

Long story short in every place imagineable.

And after every meeting like that with Haru, Rin needed to get rid of the dinner they ate and then take a long shower in which he was wondering where did he go wrong in life.

It wasn't like he didn't think about kissing Haru and doing things with Haru before.

But now, his fantasies werent as pleasant as they were before.

The wierdest thing was that he wasn't repulsed by sex.

He was a normal teenager, and needed a relief from his stress like every normal person.

Haru didn't oppose to that, for which Rin was thankful.

The problem was still, kissing. And even Haru trailing little kisses on Rin's body.

Holding hands was a disaster.

Rin has read about it. Holding hands was supposed to be magical, to evoke trust and whatever else.

It did nothing to him.

Of course it wasn't so that he didn't feel anything – their hands in the summer heat were very sweaty and uncomfortable. So Haru didn't oppose to letting go of his hand after a short while.

Rin never saw the appeal of it. So they only held hands when necessary. And, as with kissing, Rin didn't innitiate that either.

The only thing that was okay, was them hugging and cuddling.

Being held or holding Haru in his arms, made Rin feel like it was the safest place on the entire earth.

Nothing mattered when they were lying together.

Because Haru was just being there, beside Rin, near him. It didn't matter if he was his rival, boyfriend or just a friend.

And it was enough.

Rin hoped they could just hug it out.

But they didn't.

Eventually, Haru breached the subject of Rin's disdainful approach to kissing and holding hands and whatever else he hated but didn't have time to discover yet.

„Rin?”

„Yeah?” he looked up from the book.

„Do you enjoy kissing me?”

Rin looked at Haru as if he was stupid.

He forced himself to kiss Haru everytime they did that. He tried not to show disgust on his face but sometimes he failed to.

He hoped Haru would look away at those times.

„...Not really, no.”

„I see. What about holding hands?”

„But we aren't... holding hands right?”

„Yes because everytime i try to, you just put your hand in your pocket or quicken your path if we are walking. Would it hurt you to tell me? The truth preferably.”

Rin wanted to tell him the first time he noticed it.

That everything he did, every romance novel scenario he initiated felt wierd and disgusting.

That he needs to puke every now and then when Haru isn't around preferably when nobody else is watching because this romantic thing is too much for him.

But you don't just tell your boyfriend, the one whom you told „you are the love of my life” that his kisses and all that stuff is disgusting.

Rin turned his gaze away from Haru and looked at the floor.

The silence was deafening.

Haru waited enough and sat beside Rin.

„Look. If I do this.” he took Rin's hand and held it firmly so that Rin couldn't react before it.

Rin squirmed in annoyance.

„It's not ok, is it?”

„No.”

„Then... what is?”

„How should I know?” To Rin's dismay he is on the verge of crying. As always when he doesn't know what to do and when people are playing with his feelings.

„Look, i know it sounds stupid, but remember our first kiss? The one in the park under that tree? It was disgusting. And every single one after that too. So is holding hands. It's not your fault. There is something wrong with me.” the tears run now freely on Rin's face and he felt like screaming inconherent noises into a pillow.

Anything to get rid of Haru's look on him right now.

„Why didn't you tell me?”

„Because I was... I was scared of this. That you would dump me. That you would let me go, because I'm broken and you deserve someone better than me. Because you... you are normal. And im not.”

Rin continued to sob into a pillow, not looking at Haru, straight up avoiding him.

The sobs increased in volume and Haru didn't know what to do. How to cheer Rin up. A wild thought like „just be there for him” went trough his mind, and because he didnt have any better idea he listened to it.

He wrapped his arms around Rin, and took him into an intense and long and very much needed hug.

This made Rin calm down somehow.

At least he stopped crying.

„Why do you think I'd leave you?” murmured Haru when there was silence.

„Would you really want to spend time with me if I said that kissing you and holding hands, the things that make us the boyfriends disgust me?”

„Rin. Look at me.” he moved his hands to Rin's arms and looked at him, his blue eyes meeting the gaze of the reddish ones.

They stared at each other for a while, and then Haru smiled.

He didn't lose the shining in his eyes.

„Kissing doesn't make us boyfriends. Holding hands doesn't make us boyfriends. Even having sex doesn't make us boyfriends. People are different and have different needs. You don't like kissing. Okay. I don't always like sex. But i go with it because it makes you happy. I guess you also did that with me. But you don't need to, anymore. Just tell me.”

He knew that this is too much so he came back to the tight hugging.

„The last thing i want is to hurt you. I really want to make you happy, whatever that might entail. If you are forcing yourself then that's not the way to go. I don't care about the conventional things of boyfriends.”

Haru whispered into Rin's ear.

„The only thing i care about, is you.”


End file.
